The Glance-Back, and if necessary, Double-Flush is as socially imperative as squeezing so tightly you nearly bust a capillary in your eye if you sense you’re about to fart in an audition.
If you’re in a small room and you’re going for the high note, you’re just going to fart. Fact. You can glare at the accompanist, but if you do your song has just turned into Mahler and you’re about to drown in German sixth chords.
There are very few people who want to see your poop. You should have a gander, of course, because you want to know if everything’s alright back there. For instance, you want to know if you have worms.
I know about this because one of my cousins had worms when we were children. I wandered into a room and found her spread over my aunt’s knee, pooper to the wind, as little worms were being removed with a tweezer. I am scarred for life.
Not by the worms. My baptism went badly. We were into the total immersion-thing, and the preacher got carried away with the blessing while I was under. But I digress...
Dr. Oz wants to see your poop, so he can check on the shape. He's looking for the perfectly piled ring, just like a meringue. Not gonna want one of those for awhile, are you? You're welcome, Happy Diet to you!
Dr. Phil wants to see your poop. And then he wants to ask you about your relationship with your mother. He can't help you with any of your emotional baggage, but his show isn't going well, and a Poop Day could boost the ratings.
Oprah no longer wants to see your poop. She's off the air, and besides, Weight Watchers is kicking her butt.
Your mother no longer wants to see your poop. And while I'm passing her messages along, she also wants you to get a job, and stop bringing your frickin' laundry to her house, where by the way, you no longer live.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Couldn't he get those pics next to each other? Not yet, my friend. I'm learning on the fly here. Do you like this font size? I'd love to hear your thoughts under the COMMENT section at the bottom. Aw, c'mon, YES it's a ploy, but I gave you a poop picture, and I deserve a little blog love.
I saw Lyric's production of Romeo and Juliet on opening night. (This has nothing whatsoever to do with poop.) I loved the production itself. It's a Met piece, with gorgeous costumes and a terrific set. French conductor Emmanuel Villaume held the troupes together. Bartlett Sher, oh he of Light in the Piazza - he's done some other stuff I hear but whatever - did a brilliant job of the direction, and I'm guessing a lot of the cast lost some pounds, running around in Catherine Zuber's heavy costumes. Chase Brock's choreography and B.H. Barry's fight direction - GREAT theatre name, RIGHT? - added greatly to the fun. The chorus whirled and sang all at once, they're ready for Broadway those kids. Debunks a bunch 'o myths, right there.
I usually enjoy tenor Joseph Calleja. His size impeded his performance. The show is simply too physical for a person of his proportion. With everyone running about, it was hardly appropriate for Calleja to be more sedentary. His bigger singing lost some focus, although his pianissimo was amazing. He sounded like Alfredo Kraus in those moments, one of my ALL FAV tenors.
I adore soprano Susanna Phillips, but opening night was not her gig. The voice just didn't have the sparkle, and I honestly feel her performance was hampered by Calleja. The bed scene was particularly painful to watch.
Now I hear she is pregnant, some four months, che gioia and that's wonderful. Did Mr. Sher need to adjust the blocking in that scene?
Color me horrid, but that's what I thought. Of THEM. I loved everything else! Everyone else!
Here's the link to my review for NewCity. I hope you'll read it, it really does contain new information!
I was already a big Alfredo Kraus fan when I had the opportunity to hear him sing Edgardo in Lucia di Lammermoor in one of the last Met tours in Detroit. What had me on the edge of my seat, however, was the excitement of hearing soprano Ashley Putnam in the title role. She'd fairy recently completed her studies at University of Michigan, and everyone in Michigan who sang was sleeping together 'er, I mean we all knew each other's business, so I knew she was gorgeous and talented, and some of the teachers at U of M thought she was perfect and some thought her high notes needed work and all the other sopranos in the world hated her...just the stuff you pick up like so much garbage on the street, which gossip is, but you see I remembered it...
HOWEVER, I wondered if Kraus, who was certainly old enough to be Putnam's father and, in a pinch, her grandfather, could stand up to her, vocally and histrionically. I forgot the age difference immediately. It just disappeared. They sounded WONDERFUL together. The duet nearly killed me for sheer beauty of tone and depth of characterization.
So when I say Calleja reminds me of Kraus- HUGE compliment.
Getting sick of me yet? One more thing for today. I'm playing the patter role in Gilbert & Sullivan's comic operetta, Princess Ida. Gilbert's book is based on Tennyson's poem, The Princess. It plays March 11, 12, and 13 at Mandel Hall on the campus of The University of Chicago, the university orchestra in the pit.
If 10 of you agree to attend, and tell me in the COMMENTS section of this thing - if I count ten of you - I will learn the choreography for the Finale. Otherwise I will look confused, mug like hell, and steal all the focus from that Ida-girl. SAVE ART! BUY A TICKET! I'm attaching a link to an article about the production.